Old Man

I had a general idea of how to build the wine press, but I lacked materials. Thus, I found myself once again in that cavernous wonderland of a warehouse: the Home Depot.

The Home Depot is one of my favorite stores out there. I like smelling lumber and paint. I like the aisles of nuts and bolts and screws and brackets in all shapes and sizes. The testosterone glazed shrines to power tools make me grin.

Unfortunately, the HD staff was a bit of a letdown. They didn't seem to really know where anything was. They weren't handymen or handywomen. This was just another job to them. Instead of flipping burgers, they wore orange aprons and directed people to where they could find paint.

An encounter with one employee left me particularly hopeless. In one hand I held a large screw, which was labeled as 3/4" in diameter. In another, I held a piece with a hole inside, labeled as 1/2" in diameter. Being that 3/4 is bigger than 1/2, I was perplexed as to why the hole was larger than the screw. After presenting this little curiosity to the HD employee, he responded as follows (in a patronizing tone): "No, see, this (the piece with the hole) is 1/2, and YOU need 3/4"

I didn't feel like explaining the concept of kal v'chomer.

Just as I was about to give up, I saw an old man employee. His name tag said "Gil". I thought to myself, this guy is definitely the kind of guy who knows his stuff, who has worked with his hands all his life. I went up to him and explained what I was trying to do. He eagerly took to the task, although he didn't really seem to know exactly where to find the part I wanted. Still, we attacked the problem together, each trying to come up with ideas as we wandered aimlessly through different parts of the store.

At one point Gil turned to me
"Where are you from?"
"Scarsdale"
"Were you there this morning?"
"Huh?"
"Do you daven at the Young Israel?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Oh. You were at the late minyan today?"
"Yeah!"
"I was at the early one."

Go figure! Turns out his name is Garfinkel ("Not Garfunkel, not Greunfunkel!") and he goes to my shul.

GG never really found me the part I was looking for, but we parted ways, and I had made a new friend. I eventually found things that would suffice for my purposes and took them home.